Tuesday, October 6, 2009

31 for 21: Day Six

When I received the diagnosis of BOTH boys have Down Syndrome I was doubly concerned that I wouldn't know what to do with them. How they would turn out. How I would need to care for them differently. How different life would be with them.

I am so happy that nothing is different. We have bouts of sickness that lasts a little longer than most children, we've had some medical ups and downs, we've thrown the words therapy, transition, sign language, and non-verbal into our vocabulary. But to us, this just feels normal. Any other baby you have, there's adjustments period. As the mama you just adjust your daily life around the needs of your child, and that is true with the boys as well. This all feels VERY NORMAL to us.

I realize that some reading this may still not know exactly what Down Syndrome is, they just know that my boys are so darned cute they want to learn more about them...and thats ok :) I found this online and think it explains things very well.

Down syndrome

Normally, at the time of conception a baby inherits genetic information from its parents in the form of 46 chromosomes: 23 from each parent. In most cases of Down syndrome, however, a child gets an extra chromosome for a total of 47 chromosomes. It’s this extra genetic material that causes the physical and cognitive delays associated with Down syndrome.

The cause is unknown, although it isn’t caused by environmental factors or anything the mother does before or during her pregnancy.

It occurs in one of every 800 births. Maternal age is the only factor that has been linked to an increased chance of having a baby with Down syndrome. A 35-year-old woman has a one in 350 chance of conceiving a child with Down syndrome. By age 45, the incidence has increased to one in 30. However, because younger women have higher fertility rates, 80 percent of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under the age of 35.

Kids with Down syndrome tend to share certain physical features such as a flat facial profile, an upward slant to the eyes, small ears, a single crease across the center of the palms, and an enlarged tongue.

Low muscle tone and loose joints are also characteristic of children with Down syndrome.

Half of all children born with Down syndrome also have congenital heart defects and are prone to developing pulmonary hypertension (high blood pressure in the lungs). Approximately half of all kids with Down syndrome also have problems with hearing and vision. Other medical conditions that may occur more frequently in children with Down syndrome include thyroid problems, intestinal abnormalities, seizure disorders, respiratory problems, obesity, an increased susceptibility to infection and a higher risk of childhood leukemia. Diagnostic tests for pregnant women are about 99 percent accurate in detecting Down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities.

Source: Kidshealth


The MAJOR thing I disagree with in this article is the statement at the end that says Diagnostic testing is 99% accurate. FALSE!! FALSE!! FALSE!! I was carrying two children with Down Syndrome, I had the testing just to be prepared, bloodwork, Level II sonograms (3 of them) and nothing came back out of the ordinary. As a matter of fact, it was said aloud more than once, that there was NO signs of Down Syndrome in my children. So its a very bitter fact for me to read that so many women are getting abortions these days on just a TEST. The only accurate way to tell during pregnancy is an amnio and even so, these children are true blessings from God and I hope that I would be able to touch one person's heart who may think otherwise.

Monday, October 5, 2009

31 for 21: Day Five... Support

I never realized how hard it is to find support for something until I needed it. Down Syndrome is a scary enough diagnosis to be given, but then feeling like your going through it all alone is even scarier. When the twins were born, I didn't know anything about Down Syndrome, or premature babies, or Necronizing Entercolitis, or colostomy care, etc....

It took several months (about four or five) before I even found someone local to me who had a child with Down Syndrome. And that happened to be twin girls, one with Down Syndrome and one without. It was so nice to relate to this mother and find we had alot in common.

I have to say that the best support I got then, and still yet today is from my online friends. I have met so many people online that have become like my second family. I have met a few of them in person and that is really exciting to see the person in the flesh after seeing lots and lots of photos first. I find it comforting that if I'm having an issue or problem with something I can go and post on my favorite site DownSyn and I'll have an answer almost immediately. And now that I've jumped on the Facebook wagon, there too I enjoy keeping up with friends I've met online who have children with Down Syndrome. Last August I was sooo thrilled after searching and searching to find an online forum for parents with multiple children with Down Syndrome. I have found a few families who have identical twins both with Down Syndrome from that site. We are so rare that is so nice to find others.

I enjoy speaking to my online friends, but I was still wanting to get something going locally. I read books, planned out when to meet, what to call our group, and I started to try and find other families interested. One of the last things on my "To Do List" was to contact our local Arc organization. I called and spoke to Rachael, she was thrilled that I was trying to start something in the area and said I should consider working with them. I didn't know what the Arc was exactly and I knew they dealt with all types of special needs and I was just looking to stay in the Down Syndrome family. After alot of prayer I realized that God had opened the most amazing door for me and I accepted the offer to come on board with The Arc of Jefferson County. I have been their Executive Director now since June of this year. I have been blessed to be able to use their wonderful facilities which include an 8 acre camp with playground, pavilion and 12 picnic tables, fenced in pond, classrooms, complete kitchen and dining hall and much more. This has been such a blessing and yet I am still having a hard time getting families to come to the support group meetings??? I don't understand it to be honest. I am hoping that word of mouth gets around and more people will come.

I am so blessed with the support I've gotten this far, and I hope that I can support others in the future. Any suggestions or comments on how you have gotten your support groups to grow??

Sunday, October 4, 2009

31 for 21: Day Four

Today is Sunday and a good day to talk about the love and support I received from my church family when we got the twins' diagnosis.

I have told everyone time and time again just how much they're prayers kept us going when we were dealing with the NICU, the Down Syndrome diagnosis, surgeries for Isaac, being away from one baby while spending time with the other in a different hospital miles and miles away from each other, and not to mention being away from the older three children as much as we were. Without the comfort of prayer, cards, hugs and help with getting our house in order and keeping our kids I don't know how we would have gotten through this ordeal. Without my family AND my church family it would have been impossible.

While we were going through all of this I prayed and cried and prayed some more, but I don't feel as though I had the strength to pray for the right things. But I knew that my church family and friends were taking care of lifting us up in prayer and I truly felt that comfort.

If your going through a new diagnosis of Down Syndrome or any other difficult time for that matter and you do not have a church family, from experience, find a church family to help get you through. We attend the DuBois Church of Christ. We've tried many many different church and never felt as welcomed as we do here. When we travel we always visit a Church of Christ in the area we're visiting and we have always been more than welcomed at each stop.

I now pray for all new parents receiving the diagnosis of Down Syndrome and for peace and comfort for them as they process the overflow of information they will get at the beginning. God Bless them all as he has our family :)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

31 for 21: Day Three

After receiving the diagnosis of Down Syndrome for both of my twins, our spirits were high but a fear of the unknown was difficult. Not only did we have a new diagnosis to become familiar with, we also had the NICU to deal with. This was our first experience with a NICU baby. Having had three 7+ pound healthy babies prior to the twins, seeing a 2 and 3 pound babies with wires everywhere and machines helping them breath at first was quite a different experience.

My sister Heidi was the first person to provide me with encouragement. She was an RN for one and for two she had worked in a group home in the past and had experience with individuals with Down Syndrome. I honestly did not know anyone with Down Syndrome that I could compare what we were about to deal with to.

My sister provided me with a paper that had a poem on it that totally put a smile on my face and made me feel as though maybe, just maybe these children are a blessing from God, it was called The Creed of Babies with Down Syndrome.

My face may be different
But my feelings the same
I laugh and I cry
And I take pride in my gains
I was sent here among you
To teach you to love
As God in the heavens
Looks down from above
To Him I'm no different
His love knows no bounds
It's those here among you
In cities and towns
That judge me by standards
That man has imparted
But this family I've chosen
Will help me get started
For I'm one of the children
So special and few
That came here to learn
The same lessons as you
That love is acceptance
It must come from the heart
We all have the same purpose
Though not the same start
The Lord gave me life
To live and embrace
And I'll do it as you do
But at my own pace

Friday, October 2, 2009

31 for 21: Day Two "The Diagnosis"

I'm going to start my Down Syndrome Awareness blog by telling how we got the diagnosis and how I feel it should have been handled differently.

When any parent has a child they are so very excited about everything. We always hope for a healthy baby, for a safe delivery, and to live happily ever after. When I found out I was pregnant with twins, the excitement was doubled. I was so surprised, I NEVER thought I would have twins. That was just one of those things you see other people do or watch on a Baby Story and feel for those parents...LOL After the initial shock Tom and I were very excited.

I had a long complicated pregnancy. I had several ultrasounds done, including three Level 2 sonograms to make sure everything was ok with the babies. In one instance the perinatologist spent 10 to 15 minutes just trying to measure baby B's pinky and make sure it was straight. Boys looked good. Hearts were healthy, all organs looked great except baby B had one kidney dilated but that was nothing to worry about it should fix itself before he was even born. After finally getting the pinky measurement the words "There's no indication of Down Syndrome in either boy, they're healthy". Great!! One Less worry, now let's just get through this pregnancy.

My due date was December 15th. On October 13th a very good friend of my family died. My mom was going to keep the news from me in fear that it would upset me to badly, but I found out and I was really sad all night long. Woke up October 14th to a trickle going down my leg..uh oh. Off to hospital to see what it is. Ended up not being amniotic fluid but I was having contractions very steadily so they kept me. The next day doctors attempted to get them to stop and did not succeed, the next day they put me on magnesium sulfate....UGH, but it worked. October 17th, I was feeling well, contractions have just about stopped completely I was ready to go home. I ordered my lunch and was sitting with my sister and niece in my room and we were talking about me going home. It was a good day!

THEN, the Charge Nurse came running into my room as the lunch lady was delivering my lunch to me and told me not to take a single bite of that food!!! WHAT?? The sonogram that I had just had that morning showed that Baby B was in distress and they got poor readings for everything they were checking for so I was off to an emergency c-section.

Terrible c-secton, won't go into details, but they put me to sleep.

Fast forward 10 days. I was in the NICU with the boys sitting with my sister in law Megan. We were chatting about how tiny and cute they twins were. Caleb (Baby A) was 3lbs 3oz and Isaac (Baby B) was 2lbs 10oz, both were 15 1/2 inches long. The pediatrician came over to our pod and said he had the test results back on Caleb. Test Results? WHAT TEST RESULTS? "I'm sorry to inform you that your child has Down Syndrome." "At this time we cannot tell you how he may function in life or what other conditions he may have. We have several brochures for you to read and I'll have the nurses put something together for you. Do you have any questions for me?"

UM, no!! Can't you see the shock on my face, let me get a few breaths of air into my body so my brain can even function. Ok..Ok So Caleb has Down Syndrome. Does Isaac? "Well we don't know that yet. Because Isaac is so small the test requires so much blood we've decided to wait until the results of the placenta come back to determine if they are identical or fraternal. If they are identical they will both have it but we've never seen a case like that before so more than likely Isaac does not have it."

To back up the story and explain. When I had to have the emergency c-section it was due to Baby B, Isaac, not reading well on the sonogram. When he was born he had severe head trauma from being shoved up into my ribs. He literally had a heart shaped head coming out with the imprint of my ribs going from the top back of his head down to his chin. Due to this they did not suspect any Down Syndrome in the delivery room, just head trauma. Caleb however, they noticed some features of Down Syndrome and asked my husband if they could run some tests on him. At the time I was still heavily sedated and didn't hear any of the conversation. My darling husband, who was only trying to protect me, decided not to tell me this information because I had been through hell that week and then a terrible delivery. I do seriously thank him for that as I would have just worried for that first 10 days instead of enjoying them.

When we received the official word that Caleb had Down Syndrome we were not upset so much with the Down Syndrome, we were just nervous that we would not know how to do this and hoping that we could be the kind of parents that he would need to tend to his special needs. Neither Tom nor I had any experience or knowledge about Down Syndrome and it was scary. While we waited on the diagnosis for Isaac we kept discussing, what if's. What if they both have it? What if one does and one does not? Which way would we prefer it? How much did God think we could handle? How long did we have to wait? It was driving us crazy quite frankly.

Oct. 31st. Closed on our house...YUP!! We were buying a house and wanted to get it ready for our twins arrival in December and instead the twins came first and then the house right after they arrived. We went Trick Or Treating with older three kids and enjoyed our day bragging to everyone about our sweet little babies in the NICU.

November 1st. Twins seemed a little different today? Not eating well and having alot episodes of them not breathing? I went home knowing they were in the best care just to see the other children and have dinner with my family. I pumped and went in for my evening visit to deliver milk at 10pm and was met by a dear friend, Tina, who happened to be our NICU nurse. She said Isaac was having some trouble and they had called the life flight to ship him to Pittsburgh Children's....

November 2nd. Isaac and Caleb had both developed N.E.C. Because Isaac was the smaller of the twins he could not fight off the infection in his small bowels and had to have an operation. During this operation they drew blood to test for Down Syndrome and as they broke the news to us about his condition, they also said they were pretty sure he had Down Syndrome.

This was ALOT to take in, but we grew stronger in our faith in God, our love for our family and friends for their help and prayers, and we learned more than anything that we have no control in this life and to feel blessed for every day we're given.


Note to Doctors and Nurses:
I just wished that how we were given the news would have been done with more respect to us as parents, for the road we were about to travel, more respect for my children who may have a more difficult road but darnit they were both beautiful infant boys who needed the same attention and love as my other children did at the beginning, and more respect for the disability in general. Its not a bad thing that you have to be Sorry about. Instead Congratulate the new parents, tell them that you know several others who have done great things with their children and there are so many opportunities out there now that weren't here 20 years ago, Give HOPE instead of SORROW when you give a diagnosis. I can tell you from experience, I have been Doubly BLESSED and I would not want this any other way even if I could choose it myself now.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Happy Birthday Heidi!!!


Sisters Friend Jody and Heidi

Today is my sisters Birthday. I am so very proud of her. She is currently a single mom, working full time as an ER Nurse, going to school full time to become a Nurse Practitioner, and suffering with a herniated disk in her back. She is working so hard at life and she is doing a wonderful job. She is working on her thesis project and her topic of study Nutritional needs and Fitness of preschool children with Down Syndrome. I was so honored that she chose that topic as it will benefit me and many others to come.

We lost our dad four and a half years ago and although we miss him dearly, it has brought us closer that we ever have been before. So Thank you Daddy :)

This morning before the Camille and Elijah went to school I told them that today was Aunt Heidi's birthday and they wanted to sing Happy Birthday to her. I took a photo of them and then voice recorded them signing and texted it to my sister. I would have loved to have shared that on here because there's nothing cuter than kids singing, but my inability to understand technology kept me from doing so...LOL

So Heidi if you can figure out how to get that online, email it to me and I'll post it :) Have a wonderful day, don't eat to much cake, and have a scoop of ice cream for me!!! P.S. Biggest Loser competition starts tomorrow, you in?

31 for 21 here I come :)

This is a great month for us. The twins turn 4!!!! We will celebrate the past four years with them and continue to Thank God Above for all the blessings they have brought to us. I love fall, the beauty of the trees, the cooler weather, halloween with the kids, football season, and the opportunity to snuggle up with a good book (reading Twilight series, finally). Not only does October bring us all of that already mentioned but it also brings Uncle Jimmy running the Chicago marathon on Sunday October 6th, The Buddy Walk thats going on all over the country, the twin's participated in the 2010 calander to benefit the Pittsburgh Down Syndrome Asso. again and they will go on sale this month for $16, and this month is a National Down Syndrome Awareness month. Someone has created a challenge to bloggers to spread the word about Down Syndrome and I'm going to try and take the challenge.

Its known as the 3rd Annual 31 for 21 Blog Challenge.




I will be trying to talk each day about something I've learned about Down Syndrome, how Down Syndrome has changed our lives, what I wished I'd known about Down Syndrome before the boys came, and things I want you all to know about Down Syndrome. Please feel free to email me questions you would like me to address this month at pookeymom@msn.com. I would love to cater this to who ever is curious about things. Don't be bashful, I want to make this fun!!