Hanzely Clan News

Attitude Adjustment Needed?

2012-02-08T19:52:00.003-05:00

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”-

Scott Hamilton

This is a quote to remember and reflect upon. This quote should be considered by everyone from the small school aged child, to parents like myself, business owners and politicians and well... everyone!

I made it through my childhood with a neutral to bad attitude, which I feel I was surrounded by. I remember feeling very negative about many things and I remember not feeling so great about myself. I often worried about what someone else thought of me and if they liked me or not. I remember doing things that I might not have felt comfortable doing just for a response or for the attention it brought. Some days I was a clown, other days I was mean and disrespectful. I remember my grandma telling me that I needed an major attitude adjustment.. I often wondered what in the world that really meant.

Oh the wisdom of our elders. If only we would truly hear them and listen to the words.

I now "am" an elder to my children and what a responsibility it is to teach them to have a good attitude. I thought that and attitude was a learned behavior. I thought that by being a positive role model my children would automatically become positive happy children. I thought...

Today's kids have it so tough. How do we as parents teach them right from wrong, when there is so much wrong going on in our world and even own communities? The stress that our children deal with at a much younger age than I did when I was growing up is beyond comprehension. The internet and all the access these kids have to ungodly issues, in a sense make these issues acceptable and normal. They also see BAD ATTITUDES towards everything being voiced in newspapers, on tv, online, in music, everywhere!!!! How do we.. the "uncool" old parents top the trends of the cool people and what they are doing?

We are raising five children. All of them beautiful and amazing in their own ways. Being blessed with identical twin boys who are both non-verbal, have an extra 21st chromosome causing them to have Down Syndrome and dealing with the diagnosis of PDD Autism for them both, I thought I really had an understanding of what a disability really was. But I think I was wrong.

I did a disability awareness training for a boy scout troop last night. They had a handsome young fellow who had Down Syndrome in their troop. I explained what a disability was to them and the first question that I asked the boys was: "Do you know anyone with a disability?" Only half of them raised their hands. That spoke to me. The ones that raised their hands were most likely thinking of a family member or had been told that their fellow cub scout had a disability from their parents. The other boys, by not raising their hands let me know that this little boy with Down syndrome in their troop was no different than them. This put a smile on my face.

A disability is a condition or function judged to be significantly impaired relative to the usual standard of an individual or group.

People with physical or mental disabilities often still have positive attitudes. This makes those of us without limitations wonder .. How? Why? Something that I often hear about people with Down Syndrome specifically is "Oh they are such happy people", and is that a bad thing? I would rather be known as someone that is always happy than grumpy. What a compliment that saying truly is.. How do I go about getting such a compliment for myself or for the rest of my family?

A bad attitude is a decision, as is a positive attitude. A bad attitude is something that consumes ones thoughts and actions, as is a good attitude. A bad attitude is contagious much like a good attitude is. How do we as parents teach this? I am struggling with this. I pray about this. I ask God for wisdom on this.. Now I'm asking you my readers, share some of your wisdom and offer some suggestions? I think I am getting that slap across the face waking me up saying HEY you have a 14 year old!!!!.. You have to be ready and confident to release her into the world to make her own decisions confidently in the very near future.

My husbands response is he thinks we should become Amish to get away from technology, BUT I have read that they too are adopting technology as acceptable to run businesses, which gives them the same access as we all have... its just everywhere!!!!

People with Disabilities are Broken?

2012-02-08T07:30:00.000-05:00

I read an amazing post and had to share.. It made me think in ways I don't think I have ever thought. Especially the words "Although they might seem broken, they instead show us the brokenness of our own hearts." What an amazing life God has called the Stumbo family to. I thank them for blogging as they do and sharing their story. I have read this blog for a long time, but this one brought tears to my eyes, (Click words to read entire blog post):

I have a burning passion to see the church embrace people with disabilities. Although they might seem broken, they instead show us the brokenness of our own hearts. Our churches need them, we all need them. There is great freedom and beauty when we find ourselves surrounded by a group of people that loves unconditionally, gives freely, and worships with no restrain. It allows the rest of us to do the same as we look at them and learn from them how to come before the Lord. We can come as we are, with no pretense, no holding back, just us, with all our brokenness and garbage. What a beautiful Healing Community we can become, what great beauty is found in the middle of those with disabilities, among my people.

Change of Plans.... I am Blessed

2012-02-07T09:29:00.000-05:00

Today as I awoke knowing that I would be cancelling services for the boys and calling the preschool to let them know they would not be coming today due to some tummy troubles that began in the middle of the night, I realized....WOW am I ever blessed to be able to just throw my arms up in the air and say oh well Change of Plans for today.

I am blessed to have a husband who works so very very hard under stressful circumstances to keep his family fed and dressed. I am blessed to have the opportunity to work from home around our crazy busy life and feel like I am making a difference in some small way. I am blessed to know and love the Lord and continually ask him for wisdom and guidance as I live my life trying to figure out how to raise five children, all so very different, and all so very challenging and even more rewarding at the end of each day. Figuring out Autism and Down Syndrome. Realizing that the twins may never talk and praying that I will be ok with that. Knowing that each day that passes is another day closer to when my kids will be grown and out on their own, a thought that makes me sick.

On that very note, I have been seriously having little panic attacks when I see my beautiful daughter Tristin who is 14... FOURTEEN and a HALF really!!!! WoW she is so beautiful, has an amazing personality (when she is not glued to her iPod), her artistic talent is a money maker, and she is in that teenage funk where mom is NOT allowed to say I love you or offer a hug.. Boy does that hurt :( I remember being like that to my mother... I was like that for a long time. I guess I really didn't realize how much I was hurting her, even though that was part of the intention. Its so hard growing up and being right at the place where you want so badly to be treated as an adult yet still just at this age where you are just now allowed to watch PG-13 movies and hang out with friends (with adult supervision). When will I as a parent feel like I can let go a little in this world today, with all its bad outweighing the good most days?

I have had so many things on my mind these days.. I am weeks away from signing up the twins for kindergarten. That was my major Change of Plans last year.. I was going to register them, then I didn't. Now its almost here again and I wonder if I am ready to let them go... I will, they are ready. I just have that big mama bear feeling to protect them and not having the control to do that in a public school setting.

And so I go again to prayer, asking the Lord for guidance with my decisions, that my parenting journey will bear fruit for my children's decisions in the future. Its such a responsibility to raise these little people who grow up to be accountable adults. I feel blessed to have been given such a task, but somedays nervous that I am not stepping up to the plate or thinking of all the outcome possibilities for each decision.

20. My son, obey your father's commands, and don't neglect your mother's teaching.
21. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck.
22. Wherever you walk, their counsel can lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up in the morning, they will advise you.
23. For these commands and this teaching are a lamp to light the way ahead of you.

LTNP... (Long Time No Post)

2012-01-25T21:09:00.004-05:00

I guess I have REALLY neglected my blog over the past several weeks. Who woulda thunk that a mom of five kids would lose track of her time and energy to get on the computer and keep the world updated on what is going on in her household?? Actually I really enjoyed stepping back from the computer ~~and facebook~~ for a few weeks.

Update in a Nutshell:

Excellent Christmas with the kids this year. Tom and I escaped from our everyday norm and took a 5 day trip to Louisiana at the beginning of January. I now totally understand why people say they come back from vacation refreshed and ready to tackle another day. See since we have had children we always take the children with us when we go away for a few days. THAT leaves us more exhausted at the end than we were at the beginning, but this trip was different..and amazing...and relaxing!!! Tom and I got our first massage, and I guarantee that won't be our last!

Also got to see some gators (and eat some)..

Kids have been healthy for the most part with the exception of a tummy ache here and an ear infection there.. Everyone is having a great year in school. Tristin has been practicing for a small part in the school play two nights a week. Camille keeps on crafting and Skyping with her friends. Elijah is all boy and loves playing his Wii games, computer games, and avoiding going outside in the cold weather. The twins are plugging away at their busy schedules and keeping busy. They are both making great improvements and we are about to register them for kindergarten for the fall.

Today Caleb had surgery at Children's in Pittsburgh for his third set of tubes and more dental work. Unfortunately, as a result of his sensory issues he does not take teeth brushing well. Today he got two more crowns, one filling, and they decided to seal all his molars in anticipation of perhaps helping any future problems. Not that I look forward to any surgical procedures for my twins, BUT I do look forward to getting to talk to a nurse who works in the unit who has identical twins with Down Syndrome herself and LOTS of great advice to offer us. Its really easy to feel like we're all alone sometime in our journey of raising our boys. Its one thing to have support online with people going through your journey, and its another to speak face to face with someone in the same boat.. THANK YOU PAM!!!!

Here was a great expression from Caleb about his day today:

Merry Christmas!!

2011-12-24T22:27:00.001-05:00


Caleb is not sure of Miss Clause and Isaac is cherishing Santa's touch

Rudolph paid a visit

Caleb would not let the "deer" alone

How precious is this!!!


Girls showing off their beauty poses

Wordless Wednesday... sick boy :*(

2011-10-26T18:38:00.001-04:00

31 for 21: New Parent Advice

2011-10-26T06:30:00.000-04:00

I was asked yesterday on Facebook by a friend "What piece of advice would

you offer a new parent who just found out their child has Down syndrome

now that you have been there done that?"

I would tell her to remember that her brand new beautiful baby is just that, a baby. He/She will need the same bonding time and nurturing as any other baby so really take that time and love on your new baby. There will be plenty of time to learn about Down Syndrome and what all comes along with it.. I remember always trying to look at my boys and figure out "what was Down Syndrome" about them, when all I needed to do was admire their beauty and love them unconditionally.

31 for 21: Big Brother Love

2011-10-25T07:30:00.000-04:00

Elijah is loving my new iPhone. I can't get the darn thing off of him. He found the camera and decided to go and get some cute pics for me. I thought they worth sharing. Elijah is such a good big brother. He nit picks and wrestles with them like no other, but when the twins are not feeling well or having a melt down Elijah is the most gentle understanding brother there is.


Isaac


Caleb

31 for 21: Our First Year Montage Revisited

2011-10-24T21:04:00.001-04:00

Going back through some files I came across this tonight and thought I would share this on my blog tonight. I have lots of new followers who I thought might appreciate our first year cutie pies :)

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com